When I was pregnant with my first son, is when the ‘what if’s’ started. What if I get hit by a car? What if my husband gets hit by car? What would I do if I were left alone taking care of a baby by myself? And I would shake it off, thinking that it was ridiculous to think those things and because it was so unpleasant to think that way.
After he came & was about 9 months old I had my first panic attack. He had been sick & it brought me to a state of worry that I had never been before. After talking to my naturopathic Dr & seeing a counselor, I found a new balance without medication and was able to get through this stage, somewhat naively, thinking it wasn’t going to get worse.
After the birth of our second son, the height of all my anxiety and depression hit hard. He was a very difficult newborn and I didn’t want to be a Mom anymore. When he was just weeks old, I was nursing him, and he nursed A LOT! I didn’t want to do ANY of it anymore, didn’t want to be a Mom, didn’t want to take care of anyone. Didn’t want to even take care of myself. I just wanted to sleep all day.
Thankfully, when he was about 5 months old and sleeping through the night, my anxiety and depression lessened and I started to enjoy my boys again.
But at that time we got a surprise! We found out we were expecting baby #3. Only one month after #2 turned 1 year old.
While my mood was good throughout my 3rd pregnancy, I was very worried about what would happen when he got here. All I could do was pray and beg God, asking Him to be gracious and not let me experience any postpartum anxiety or depression after the baby came.
(I looked at my Mom and asked, 'can you take a picture of us? This is a moment I don't ever want to forget!'. My big boys loving on their new little brother & my heart was full in that beautiful moment with my 3 boys!)
God gave me a verse to get me through this pregnancy. Every time my mind would start to wander about all the ‘what ifs’ again, I would repeat 3 key verses & they became my prayers.
Phillipians 4:6-7
‘Do no be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your hears and lean not on your own understanding; in all you ways submit to him & he will make your paths straight.
I am here today to say that GOD ANSWERS PRAYER! My life is a direct reflection of that. And when we welcomed baby boy #3 into our family, I did not experience any postpartum anxiety or depression! God is good!!
There are 3 things that God has taught me through all of this.
First, God has used these struggles in my life to show me that I can’t do ANYTHING without HIM! I can’t even get myself out of bed in the morning without his grace, let alone take care of 3 very energetic boys.
Second, lets not forget ourselves in this stage of mother hood. It’s easy to put our needs and health last & everything about our kids first. But, at what cost? To waking up when our kids are 10 years older and realizing your health is greatly deteriorated? You matter! Are you having struggles? Do you need to make changes to get healthier? I am here today to encourage you to talk to someone; a friend, a Dr, a nutritionist, a counselor, a pastor, a chiropractor. Anyone! Just make sure you’re not ignoring your health and needs.
And Lastly, I know there is a spiritual attack on godly moms. moms who want to raise their children for God. Satan is attacking their health and when their health fades, everything else dissipates as priority. You can’t be an example when you can’t get out of bed. You can’t take your kids to church when your anxiety won’t allow you to drive there.
I am here today to stand up & say ‘NO MORE’!!
We declare in Jesus name, that we will not accept this as our normal in life. We declare health & healing in our bodies, from the top of our heads to the souls of our feet.
This is God’s will for us!
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