Change

          Change is starting to get hard. Is it because I am getting older and 'set in my ways' or is it because I'm a mom and my sentimental side gets the better of me?? Maybe a bit of both, however I know that the first isn't what I'm called to. It's not what God has in store for me. I'm to be drawing on my childhood of always being the new kid, which makes this time in my life no different. I'm to be my outgoing self, even though I just want someone else to say 'hi' first. I'm to be counting my blessings, which overwhelm me when I sit down and make myself think about them. I am to be patient when I want to scream & thoughtful of others when I want to be selfish.

          I want my life to be a reflection of a loving God who has changed me to be more like him. And while this terrifies me, as I am learning the actual cost associated with such a life commitment, I know in my heart it is my desire. 

       
          I know I'll screw it up and forget to put people before a task (I just did that yesterday) or forget that I should be giving of my time & resources even though 'extra' doesn't seem to happen every month. But 'extra' isn't the need, today is the need, my saved soul is the need, my kids are the need, a healthy marriage today is the need. 

          The list is long on all the change my family & I have been through this past 6 months, but the most important thing is that I've done it with God. He's broken me over and over to allow me to accept his will in my life. I know he'll continue to do it, as I'm pretty stubborn and want to do it my way. The grace that he has bestowed upon me is overwhelming, praise God for his daily strength!

'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will'   Romans 12:2